Signing off

Hey, you! Yes, you, the cherished reader of my extremely infrequent blogs. I'm writing to tell you that I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. I so appreciate your visits, and I have loved communicating with you through this snappy little medium but I'm focusing my writing time on my memoir right now so I'm signing off here.

Friend me on facebook and let's keep in touch. If and when I ever get my book into the world, maybe I will start blogging again. But for now, I want to say a heartfelt, "thank you for stopping by" and wish you well as we part ways. Keep moving in the direction of your dreams and I'll see you soon.

Much love,

Sandra

Blissipline

Hi, loves!

How are we doing with the goals we set for the New Year? Miraculously, I'm actually sticking to mine more often than not. I'm far from perfect but I seem to have found a schedule that works for me and most days I'm moving in the direction of my goals. Hallelujah!

One thing that's helping me to stay grounded is that I've started bookending my day with quiet time. It's a simple spiritual practice which doesn't take long but it does wonders for my sense of well-being. I take a little time to read something inspirational (from one of my favorite spiritual authors or poets), then I set an intention for the day, and think about what I'm grateful for. No big fancy tada, but enough to cause a shift in my perception of my life. I find myself noticing things I'm grateful for all throughout the day. Tonight while I was out walking the dogs (I'm grateful for them every minute) I was thinking how lucky I am to live in such a quiet condo complex. I was grateful for the warm air (40's felt downright balmy), the nearly full moon, and even the pavement I was walking on.

A consistent spiritual practice was one of my goals for this year. Writing and going to the gym regularly were also at the top of my list. I am proud as hell to say that I've been more consistent with exercise over the last year than I have ever been in my life. I still need work on my meditation practice. Part of the problem is that in my anal Virgo-ness, I feel that it isn't good enough unless I sit down for at least twenty minutes. Yet I know that the only bad meditation is no meditation. Today, after I did forty minutes of cardio, I sat down to meditate with the album "Eternal Om" on my ipod for only four minutes. But it's better than nothing, right? I'm still figuring out where in the day meditation works best for me. One thing that's helped me tremendously with exercise is that I no longer force myself to do it first thing in the morning. I've never functioned at full throttle in the morning, so now my routine looks like this:
After my morning quiet time (which I do before my feet even hit the floor), I have coffee and check email, maybe facebook, and read a few of my favorite blogs. Then, I get to work on the book. I write until my brain hurts and by then I am actually looking forward to the gym. My body is anxious to move and my head longs to rock out to Jason Mraz, the Dreamgirls soundtrack, or (I admit it) soft rock from the seventies. (Yes, I saw that infomercial with Air Supply and bought the Time Life collection. It makes me insanely happy. "Summer breeze makes me feel fine...")
Then, it's shower, dinner, laundry, bills, and whatever else needs doing. Late night is tv time with the hubby, usually with Murphy snuggled between us on the couch, a fire in the fireplace, and a glass of wine. By bedtime, I have a long list of things to be grateful for.

Now I do not always stick to my schedule. I blow off the gym sometimes or spend more time surfing than writing. But when I am consistent, I feel pretty darn blissful. I learned the silly and fabulous word "blissipline" this week from Michael Bernard Beckwith's book "Spiritual Liberation". (He's the dude with the long braids from "The Secret" and his book is fabu so far.) Now in the old days when I would fail to live up to my standards, I used to come down very hard on myself for it. Big loud swat with the yardstick for you, Sandra, you worthless, lazy, good-for-nuthin' slug! Guess what that kind of self talk made me want to do? Crawl under the covers and never come out. So, these days I'm trying a new approach. When I have an unproductive day, I simply let it be without judgment. I refuse to base my self-worth on my level of productivity. It simply backfires. Instead, I choose to judge myself on only one thing--my ability to love myself unconditionally. If I have been a slacker, and I can still look in the mirror and like who I see, then I've had a successful day. But if I've cranked out a new chapter or done a performance and all the while I'm thinking what a talent-free loser I am (not that I've EVER had that experience...) then the day has been wasted. My goal above all others is self-compassion because out of that generous spaciousness I am able to give the best of myself to others. Now that makes me want to get up and out, to dance with the world, to play and create and sing and write-and to enjoy this precious time on planet earth, and love all the people I love.

Happy New Year

I'm back. Sorry it took so long- and big thank you's to those of you who emailed to say, "where the heck are ya?". I'm happy to report that this time my MIA status was not due to the blues. Life did throw some unexpected curveballs, though. I went home to Michigan for a surprise Christmas visit with the family and my sister decided (with no consideration of my travel plans) to have her intestines get all tangled up, which required surgery and turned my four day trip into eight days at the hospital. She is home recovering now (whew) and I'm finally back to the Jers. It really was a gift to spend the extended time with my family, and I was enormously impressed by my sis's strength and lack of woe-is-me-ness.
Ron and I were in Washington, D.C. over the holidays. He was performing in a concert called, "The Music of Andrew Lloyd Weber". Never heard of the guy. :)

I'm now getting back to the book-writing, gym-going, healthy-eating routine and it feels great. I won't say these are New Year's Resolutions since we all know the stats of success those have. But I will say I have renewed my goals and I feel the momentum this time of year always brings. The trick for me is to go easy on myself when I don't meet every one of my ideals. It's so easy to get discouraged and say, "oh forget it, it's not worth it, I'll never get there, blah blah blah..." So, I'm working on being disciplined but also remembering that I am not my to-do list and if I fail to check something off, it isn't the end of the world.

Yesterday, I wrote four new pages but didn't make it to the gym. Today, I'm going to work out but I may not crank out the writing. Hopefully, most days I will do both. But even if all I do is walk my dogs in the snow and breathe in the quiet January air, I will be grateful. Our value is not determined by how much we accomplish but by how much consciousness we bring to whatever we do. Having said that, I'd love to know what you're doing to make 2009 your best year yet. Tell me your goals and how you plan to cope if you don't meet them PERFECTLY.

Peace, productivity, and more peace...

Sandra

Waking up again

I hope everyone had a terrific turkey day. Do you like the picture of my bird? I'm a veg-head so I didn't eat it, but I thought it looked pretty, especially with the crazy silly little white poofs on its feet!
Chances are if it's been a looong time since I've posted a blog, I've been going through a rough patch. I confess it's true this time. After coming down from the high of election night, I fell into a bit of a funk. I've been trying to rally and sometimes I get to feeling pretty normal, but then I seem to sink again. I could list a dozen different potential contributing factors, from the weather to the coming of the one-year anniversary of my dad's death, but I'm choosing to forego excuses. I don't like to write anything to you lovely folks unless I feel that it might lift you up in some way. Why shold you bother reading a blog full of complaints? You've got your own problems! But I decided to write today even though the fog is still surrounding me a bit.
We ALL go through these periods, do we not? Maybe some of us are more prone to despair than others (my hand is in the air) but from time to time we are all bound to feel like the best place to be is under the covers. For me, this is a reminder that I've been sleepwalking through my life. It's a wake-up call that tells me it's time to tune in again, to wake up to what's really important. It always means I've let my spiritual practive fall by the wayside. You don't have to be religious-you don't even have to believe in God-to have a spiritual practice. It can be a simple ritual of gratitude, like taking time each day to write down a few things you are thankful for. In the last few days, I've started meditating again. It helps my state of mind so much to just take a few minutes (prefereably twenty but I'm working back up to that) to STOP, to take a conscious break from the mental chatter that clogs up my inner peace. I find out when I stop long enough to separate myself from my thoughts that FEAR has been running the show. I have so many fears, worries, concerns, anxieties. If I don't stop to shine a flashlight on them, they linger around in the shadows and unbeknownst to me, they take over.
My wonderful family drove from Michigan to New Jersey to spend Thanksgiving at my house. We had a great visit and the dinner I made didn't turn out half bad (see above pic). There is only one thing that would have made the weekend better- if I could have stopped my brain from envisioning my sister's car flipped upside down on the way home. The most precious people in the world to me were all in one vehicle-even my two nephew dogs!- and I couldn't help but go to the worst case what-ifs. This is insanity. It is self-inflicted torture having nothing to do with reality. Fortunately, I've done enough spiritual work to have a few techniques to help soothe my frantic, worried mind. The bummer is you can't just learn this stuff once and then be cured. It is a PRACTICE. I always thought that if I just read the right book, went to the right seminar, studied under the right teacher, then I'd finally "get it" once and for all and be able to move on, to never have to confront my old fears again. But I still have to practice what I've learned EVERY DAY. How do I do that? By challenging the troublesome thoughts, by confronting them and shining the light of truth into my darkest fears. And, most importantly, by doing everything I possibly can to stay present in this moment- not lamenting the past or projecting the terrifying what-ifs of the future. Right here, right now, this breath in and out...all is well.
So, that's what I'm working on. Meditation helps. Reading Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie and Martha Beck and Joan Borysenko helps. Exercising helps. Gratitude helps. So, I'm taking this moment to breathe in and out and to say thank you to all of you for reading this blog. I wish you peace and calm and freedom from your fears. And now I'm putting on my gym clothes and heading out to do 30 minutes of cardio. I'm in no mood but I'm not going to listen to the thoughts that say, "You're too tired. What's the point? You can skip it today..." I believe that we are each responsible for the energy we radiate out into the world. I don't want to pollute your day or anyone else's with icky, negative, worrisome vibes, so I'm off to rev up some positive life force. Breathe in. Breathe out. Peace.

Do more than vote!

This is far and away the most exciting election in decades. I'm hoping that a clear Obama victory will be announced Tuesday night and if so, I will be popping a bottle of champagne (seriously...it's cautiously chilling as I type this) and singing The Hallelujah Chorus. Please get out there and VOTE, if you haven't done so already, and then think about volunteering; make a few phone calls, drive people to the polls, knock on some doors. Let's get involved this time around. It's OUR future at stake. Let your voice be heard! And if you are awake Tuesday night and President Obama is announced, please join me in lifting your voice and raising a glass. "Hallelujah!" It's time for change.

And the winner is...

So, I put all of your names in a hat this morning and had Ron pick one. The winner is none other than the fabulous, the wondrous, the beautimous MISS KATIE MOSER! YAY, Katie! And for those of you who did not win this contest, you MUST stay tuned because there will be other give-aways! I had so much fun reading your what-ifs. Thank you to all who shared a little piece of yourselves. Katie, please email me your address and I will send your copy of Time of My Life pronto. The book is getting great reviews and tons of press, by the way. It's even featured in People Magazine! Yay, Allison Winn Scotch! She is so supportive of other writers and I believe that kind of good will comes back at ya. Allison deserves oodles of success for her generosity to the writing community. So, I know that you all join me in saying "GO, GIRL!"

Speaking of girls, PLEASE tune in to the Oprah show TODAY- Thursday and give a holla to the women who paved the way for us. Can you say GLORIA STEINEM? If you miss the show, I'm sure some fabu feminist will put it on youtube.

Lastly, we are all registered to vote, right? I don't even need to go into it, right? Preaching to the choir here, right? 'Nuff said.

PEACE OUT,

Sandra

Our first give away!

Okay, friends...I have a contest for you. I am borrowing this idea from author, Allison Winn Scotch. She had a contest on her blog and I was one of the winners of her new book, "Time of My Life". Since I had already purchased it, I now have two beautiful shiny new hard cover editions and I want to give my extra copy to one of you.

Don't we all wonder about the path not taken? No matter how happy we are with our lives, I think all of us spend a bit of mental time travelling down the road of what-if. The book, "Time of My Life" is about a woman who wakes up seven years in the past and gets to actually find out what that other road looks like for her.

So, here's the plan. Tell me your what-if and next week I will put your name in a hat and pick a winner. If you are the lucky guy/gal, just email me your address and I'll send you the book. Now, your what-if doesn't have to be a sad one. Here's one of mine: What if I had married the guy I was engaged to when I was 22? He didn't want any wife of his to be in the hedonistic world of theatre actors. Cancelling the wedding with the dress hanging in my closet and the hall, the caterer, and the flowers already paid for was the scariest thing I'd ever done. But if I had married him and stayed in the Midwest because it was what HE wanted, I would have ended up feeling trapped and unfulfilled. I wouldn't have had all of the incredible New York experiences I've had AND I never would have met and married my wondeful hubby- a man who lets me be ALL of me!

Okay, your turn. Tell me one of your what-if's. I'll pick a winner next week. Go!